Restoring the Nest

Amy W

This past Saturday, we sold my kids backyard play-set. As this nice family was packing up to leave, the father asked me what I wanted him to do with my little girl's birdhouse. I had totally forgotten that two years ago, we had attached this hand-painted birdhouse to the very top of the swing set. Without much thought, I just told the man to leave the house on the edge of the fence.

Little did I know that there was a little family of birds living inside of that birdhouse.

A couple of hours later, I walked out into the backyard to enjoy a little sunshine. No more had I stepped onto the back porch, than this Momma and Daddy bird opened up a full-on attack. They were both flying at me from different directions, making it very clear that they were quite unhappy.

Through my dodging of these "angry birds" I saw something hop along the back fence line.  It was a baby bird. I quickly ran out and scooped up the bird and returned it to the bird house, all the while being dive-bombed by the the adult birds. This scene was repeated again and again, as I walked the fence line and found a total of 4 baby birds that had been displaced from their happy home.

I gave myself a little pat on the back for my good deed and fully expected to get a little expression of gratitude from these little birds. But strangely enough, these birds continued to attack me even after I had returned their little home to it's former state! Honestly, I was a little irritated that my efforts had not been more appreciated.

It didn't take me long to appreciate the life/recovery parallel of this situation. You see, I was the person who wrecked my own family's home. I physically and mentally left my family in the chaos of my addiction. When I returned home from treatment, I felt like a new person; one that could restore my family. 

I thought that I could come home and immediately be recognized for the amazing person I thought that I had become. I assumed that everyone would automatically forget the person I used to be, and extend their full trust without hesitation. But I failed to recognize the scars that I had left behind.  I had found healing, but I forgot that there was still so much healing left to do.

After a couple of days, the birds are peaceful in their new location. They are no longer attacking me when I walk outside. They now seem to recognize that I am not a threat to them. Gaining my family's trust and confidence back took TIME. It took REPETITION. It took PERSISTENCE. But slowly and surely, that trust started being restored.

I realize now, the truth that addiction is a family disease. It is not just the individual that suffers. And just as the consequences of addiction do not happen overnight, nor do the blessings of recovery. But God does promise His plans to prosper us and not harm us, if we choose to follow him. I had to be willing to face all of those hurts again as I returned home. It was painful, but I had to be willing to face that pain in order for healing to begin, and full restoration to be possible. 

I can now honestly say, that my family and household are at peace again. I am no longer seen as a threat. The walls have come down, and we are fully enjoying the new life that we have built. I am no longer hurting them, and they are no longer living in fear of being hurt. And everyday, I thank God that through recovery, this new life has been made possible.

Grateful Believer, 

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