As a part of our new pre-school wing at church there is a flight of stairs that the toodlers/pre-schoolers and their parents can take to get to their classrooms. Living in a one story house all his life, my three year old looked up at me and said, "Daddy, those are big stairs." I can empathize with my three foot son. When I was his age, my family would vacation to Houston to my aunt and uncle's house. It was a two story mansion in my estimation. I can remember looking up those stairs and thinking, "Before I leave I will walk to the top by myself." That was wishful thinking on my part. My parents put up a gate so that I could not attempt my adventure. Likewise in my recovery, I am often so deep in my self-made pit of addiction and unhealthy behavior or underserved hurt and sorrow that it is inconceivable to me how to get out. I'm looking up and I see how many steps I need to take to find freedom or healing, and it feels impossible...and it is...on my own. One of the keys that I have discovered in the Christian road to recovery - hand in hand with Jesus - is that the journey is meant to be traveled in numbers. Eventually, I was able to climb that staircase at my aunt's house. Holding my dad's hand, he taught me how to climb those stairs one at a time. Similarly, God tells me in His Word that I need to have people in my life to support me through the storms of life:
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
In Celebrate Recovery, THE best way to find genuine support and accountability that works is to be consistent in meeting attendance. This includes attendance in Large Groups (lessons and testimonies), Open Share groups (learning from those with similar issues) and Step Study groups (10-12 month group with a wide variety of issues all focused on healing and freedom from hurts, hang-ups and habits). When I am consistent in group attendance, I have the opportunity to get to know others. As those relationships form naturally, it is my responsibility to ask others (same gender as me) to be my accountability partners and sponsor. These people are not assigned to me. I must choose and ask them to join my accountability team to help me on my road to recovery.
Accountability partners are other CR participants (same gender as you) who help me with a specific area of recovery. For example, I may ask someone to hold me accountable for my meeting attendance; or, I may ask someone to help me with my alcohol addiction. Then, during the week if I need encouragement/support or if I want to share a victory, I have a name and number to call and share it. This seems simple and insignificant, but it is actually powerful and a key to any one's recovery.
Sponsors in Celebrate Recovery serve as "coaches" or "mentors" in recovery. They have at least 10-12 months recovery under their belt, they have finished a step study (which means they have a sponsor too) and they are the same gender as you. My sponsor is an excellent example of what a sponsor should do. He tells me what I need to hear to progress - not what I want to hear. He shares with me his experiences, strength and hope. In other words, what has worked for him and what has not. He warns me about pit falls. When I'm stuck and need help, I call him and he listens...sometimes followed by a helpful assignment. He asks great questions to help me probe through a difficult time. He listened to my 4th step inventory and did not judge me. Instead, he expressed to me grace and love. These are all functions of the sponsor. The sponsee/sponsor relationship is pivotal to a successful recovery journey. The greatest warning I could give to anyone is this: do not attempt to climb the 12 recovery steps alone. If you do, I believe you will be frustrated and inevitably fail.
One of the greatest things I did in my recovery was to swallow my pride and reach out for help and trust the Lord that He would deliver me. When i did that, God really began to bless my recovery. I'll close this blog with one of my favorite Psalms:
Psalm 40:1-3
1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the LORD
and put their trust in him.
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the LORD
and put their trust in him.
Grateful Believer,
Micah
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