After 20+ years of knitting, I’ve just completed my first real garment: a sweater. And, I didn’t just knit this actual sweater once: I made it twice. I was almost finished with it when I realized that the size was all wrong. I could have worn my giant sweater and felt icky about how it looked; but I decided to try again. I undid every single stitch and rolled all of that yarn back into balls. All of those hours – all of that work – literally thousands of little stitches – that only took about 15 minutes to undo.Recently, my friend Jen gave her testimony at CR. She was talking about a difficult time after having recovery success with her particular struggle. She shared about a time of relapse and said that at first she had been focused on her disappointment to be back at square one in her recovery. But then she realized, “I was not back at square one. I was so different . . .I opened myself up to God’s grace and let Him work on me . . .”
This part of Jen’s story is such an encouragement to me. I am currently in the peace of God’s control over binge-eating disorder. However, I have yielded to God before in this, and have had many slips and relapses. My behavior has been rebellious, and I must face the consequences every time I choose not to walk in God’s will. But, when I do fall, I know that God will use my mistake to strengthen me.
So, back to my poor sweater that went from almost-finished back to mere balls of yarn in my knitting bag. When I began following the sweater pattern the second time, it was familiar to me. I didn’t have to study stitch tutorials on YouTube or call an expert knitter for help. I had already gone through every stitch: I had knit a practice run! I made the modifications I needed to make this go-round the right size for me, and the next thing I knew, my sweater was complete, and just the right size.
For some of us, relapse is a painful part of recovery. But, what we do next is everything. Do we pick up and follow God again, or do we stay in the knitting bag, never becoming what God has designed us to be?
Grateful Believer,
Angi
I LOVE this story that ties into the reality of relapse and how we can grow from those experiences...thanks Angi! This is actually Micah :)
ReplyDeleteLove it! So impressed with the sweater too. Chillin in the knitting bag is comfortable and easy, but the sweater is awesome. Thanks for the encouragement!!
ReplyDeleteAng, I also like that you took the brave step of undoing what was not done right in order to do it again. Too many times we are willing to walk around with something in our lives that is in a little better place, but really not done right. We don't want to undo the stitches and make it right. We are willing to walk around unhappy with a sort of recovery that keeps us from being the person God wants us to be. Great lesson and lovely sweater.
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