From alcoholic to missionary. God took my mess and made it His message.
Three years ago I was going to church, doing my “Christian duty”. I had started teaching a women’s Bible class and was active in the children’s ministry. I knew I was just coasting along, but I didn’t really care. I went to Celebrate Recovery one night with my sister only to help her with her kids because I KNEW I didn’t have any problems. As I listened to the testimony, I realized that my story sounded similar to the person speaking. So I decided to go to Newcomers 101, just to see what all this recovery was about.
Ok, I realized I had problems, things I needed to address because they were standing in between me and my relationship with my Father. So I started going to Friday nights and thought I was on the right track. Suddenly, God shook me and turned my world upside. I literally felt like He grabbed me by the shoulders and said, “Jamie, I want more from our relationship.” I fell to my knees, broken and cried out for help.
My Father grabbed my hands and said, “I have been waiting for you to ask.”
Shortly after, I started a step study and began going to a new church. Through my step study, I had to face some hard things. I could no longer sit in my denial or continue to live in my old ways. God had given me new spiritual eyes, ears, heart and mind and the old Jamie wasn’t cutting it.
My new eyes and ears saw and heard God begin to reveal Himself to me. I was sitting in church one Sunday, it was Missions Sunday and they were playing a video encouraging people to be involved in missions. I knew this video wasn’t for me; I had never been out of the country and always felt my mission field was in my own backyard. A quote came on the screen, “Missions is not about those who are already in the pew, but for those who are at the gates of hell.” I felt at that moment that I was supposed to be in Rwanda. I really thought I had gotten someone else’s call at first. But looking around, I realized God was calling me to something bigger, something so divine. I was in the middle of my step study during my first trip to Rwanda. I wanted to finish step 5, which is: Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs before I left, so I could get rid of some of the burdens I had been carrying for so long.
Three years ago I was going to church, doing my “Christian duty”. I had started teaching a women’s Bible class and was active in the children’s ministry. I knew I was just coasting along, but I didn’t really care. I went to Celebrate Recovery one night with my sister only to help her with her kids because I KNEW I didn’t have any problems. As I listened to the testimony, I realized that my story sounded similar to the person speaking. So I decided to go to Newcomers 101, just to see what all this recovery was about.
Ok, I realized I had problems, things I needed to address because they were standing in between me and my relationship with my Father. So I started going to Friday nights and thought I was on the right track. Suddenly, God shook me and turned my world upside. I literally felt like He grabbed me by the shoulders and said, “Jamie, I want more from our relationship.” I fell to my knees, broken and cried out for help.
My Father grabbed my hands and said, “I have been waiting for you to ask.”
Shortly after, I started a step study and began going to a new church. Through my step study, I had to face some hard things. I could no longer sit in my denial or continue to live in my old ways. God had given me new spiritual eyes, ears, heart and mind and the old Jamie wasn’t cutting it.
My new eyes and ears saw and heard God begin to reveal Himself to me. I was sitting in church one Sunday, it was Missions Sunday and they were playing a video encouraging people to be involved in missions. I knew this video wasn’t for me; I had never been out of the country and always felt my mission field was in my own backyard. A quote came on the screen, “Missions is not about those who are already in the pew, but for those who are at the gates of hell.” I felt at that moment that I was supposed to be in Rwanda. I really thought I had gotten someone else’s call at first. But looking around, I realized God was calling me to something bigger, something so divine. I was in the middle of my step study during my first trip to Rwanda. I wanted to finish step 5, which is: Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs before I left, so I could get rid of some of the burdens I had been carrying for so long.
Fast forward to the future, I will be moving to Rwanda for 3 years within the next couple of months. I look back and see how God worked through Celebrate Recovery, freeing me from the burdens so I could be all His and relinquish everything so He could get inside and go to work. I still have to work at it every day. God recently presented an opportunity for me to make a 15-year-old amends. I think He is still working on cleaning out the junk to make room for the Jamie that I need to be to serve Him with my whole heart.
Because of Celebrate Recovery, I had the tools and the spiritual eyes to be able to see what I was carrying around and the boldness to admit to this person that I needed their forgiveness. I don’t want to ever go back to the old Jamie. Go God!
He uncovers the deep things of darkness and brings dark shadows into the light. Job 12:22 NCV
He uncovers the deep things of darkness and brings dark shadows into the light. Job 12:22 NCV
Grateful believer,
Jamie
No comments:
Post a Comment