I can't believe it's been a little over 8.5 years since my husband and I got married. That is a LONG time and yet it seems like just a couple of years ago. Maybe it's because I've been in an autopilot coma for many stretches of it! It's definitely been a roller-coaster. Honestly, it's a miracle I'm even able to blog about this. In March, on our 8th year anniversary, we were not even living together. We had a settlement we both agreed to and in June, I had finally felt at peace with the decision to go our separate ways. We even had a counseling session over how to tell the kids, which turned into something much different.
I really can't even remember what particular thing happened that changed our marriage, I just know we took a different path...and I'm very glad we did!
These 8 years have definitely not been a Cinderella story. There needs to be a sequel where Cinderella and Prince Charming get beat up with sicknesses, have a couple demanding jobs, several sad family situations, painful events, and bad coping skills...yet still make it through alive. That is what Happily Ever After really means!!
I don't have a sappy ending that says our life is perfect now, but we are probably more open and closer than we ever have been. I do believe there is always hope for a marriage when both are committed and have positive encouraging support.
As for just life, there's been another hurtful event this year and I've never been one to stay in the victim mentality very long. It's completely counterproductive, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm currently there. I've always liked to think there is a reason for everything, a blessing in every storm, a silver lining. At the same time, I think it is totally OK to be sick and tired of finding the silver lining. Sometimes things are hard and I don't care that there will be a blessing later on, I just want to punch something and scream “it's not fair!!” It's a normal place to be, but dangerous when I’m there alone. I've struggled spiritually, emotionally, and physically many times in my life, but especially this year. Thankfully, through Celebrate Recovery and other small groups and prayer groups at church, I've found great friends that are willing to listen. Friends who will pray for me when I can't.
If you are struggling, reach out. If I didn't have some of the friends I have, this story most likely would have been a lot different.
Masks are stupid. Reality is more effective.
Grateful Believer,
KT
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