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Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Step 1

My name is Micah Hobbs and I’m a grateful believer in Jesus, and I’m in recovery from alcoholism and anger.  Twelve years ago I would not have been willing to say that.  I thought I was in control and I certainly was not grateful, or a believer in Jesus.  I was living in a dark insanity of dysfunctional behavior and addiction, but I thought I was fine. 

God blessed me with a moment of clarity nearly 12 years ago, and I admitted for the first time in my life that my life was out of control.  Step one puts it like this: “We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.”  Paul puts it like this in Romans 7:18, “I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” 

That was so true for me.  I had a lot of good intentions of putting the alcohol down and changing my behaviors, but I could never carry it out.  My life was unmanageable in every way.

For me, the most powerful part of step one is stepping out of denial and admitting that I had a problem.  For four years I was the “manager” of my life and I did what I wanted to do.  It was humbling to admit that I was the maker of my mess; but, when I said that out loud, it was truly the first step in my road to recovery.  There is power in saying to the Lord, “ I cannot do this anymore.  I tried to manage my life and I made it a living hell.  I need You to step, take control and do for me what I could not do for myself.”

Step one: turning the powerlessness of my life over to the ONE who has the power to turn it around.

Grateful Believer,
Micah

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