From Being Hurt to Being Hugged

Five years ago when I first walked into Celebrate Recovery, I was blown away at the friendliness of the folks participating in this group. They would hug total strangers! I was unable to accept a hug back then, partly from my severe depression and partly because I have been hurt by others in the past. My ability to trust was nonexistent, but over time I learned that there were a lot of people that care about me at Celebrate Recovery.  We were created to be in relationships with other people, but for me, I was too hurt to let anyone in. I was accepted where I was without pressure, and I am so thankful for that.

It seemed pretty foreign, but as I learned to trust some people I started allowing a few of them to give me a hug every once in a while. What happened next really amazed me, but I started to want, no NEED hugs! I found myself searching for my safe folks and getting my hugs. It was only about 6 months ago that I realized that I went from someone who might throw a punch if you touched me to actually asking for a hug!  God is changing me.  My journey has not been a quick one, and I certainly haven’t arrived. You still won’t see me as an official hugger on Friday nights during recovery recognition, but I am in total shock at where I am today. I am taking the scenic route to a destination set forth before I was born, and I am excited to be on that road.

Ephesians 3:20— Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think, to Him be the glory!

Grateful Believer,

Jennifer

Between Points A and B, there is Recovery

I want this to be concurrent with where the program's lessons are right now, in January, and that's Step 1 and Principle 1.  I also know that when He gives me an idea, I just go, or I don't.  I'm going.  As a song says, You have called me deeper / And I will go where you will lead me...  

Please don't read my words and think I have all the answers.  Think of me as a fellow traveler on the road, happy to walk beside you and encourage with shared stories, dreams, and hopes.

This is about hope, and that is appropriate for the beginning.  It's preliminary to Step 1: not the realization of it, nor the conclusion, not the end of the race.  Hope.

The newcomer has it.  That's you, hopefully.  That's me when I admit a new struggle.  They/you might not realize it, but that's what gets you through our doors.  At the very beginning.  I have realized something about me.  I'm broken.  There's something wrong with me.

I can't fix it.

I've tried.  How I've tried!  How I have fought.  How I have struggled.  How I have sought to control what I do.  I can't do it.  I fail.  I've failed.  I can't fix me.  I am part of the problem.

At that point I see Recovery.  If that's Celebrate Recovery, great!  If that's not CR but some other set of initials, like SA, SAA, AA, NA, among others. I thank God you have found its doors, and I extend the invitation that you are welcome to add CR to your list of meetings.  Recovery happens on many levels and at your own speed.

I see Recovery.  I see a group that meets with the expectation and express purpose of getting well. Recovery is hope in disguise.  I see that others struggle.  Others fail.  Others keep coming back.  There are positive examples to offset my own negatives.

I go to a meeting.  Why?  Surely I am at wit's end.  I know I can't fix me, but I have hope.  I have a seed of hope, however small, that there is an answer, even if at this point it's beyond me.

It is beyond me.

I realize I'm not God.  I admit that I'm powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.  (Principle 1)

My name is Joel.  I'm a grateful believer in our Lord, Jesus, the Christ.  I struggle with sex addiction and divorce.

But I have hope.  I haven't even fully internalized Celebrate Recovery's Principle 1 and everything it can and will mean in my life.

I will have many different hopes over the course of my recovery, over the rest of my life.  Some will be met during my life.  One will have to wait until after I die.  Another helps me focus on the kind of life and love and relationships I want to have.  All my hopes have to be surrendered, folded up in His arms and subject to His will.  

All hopes boil down to one quick geometric principle.  The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.  (Do we have Pythagoras to thank for that one?)  Well, it's true, and all Truth comes first from God.  I have Points A and B.  I'm at Point B, a state of loss, despair, grief.  A dwelling in the house of failure.  That's Point B.

Point A could be just about anywhere else, as long as it's a healthy place.  I'll try to keep it simple for my own sake.  Point B is who I am at the end of my rope, maybe even the end of my life if something doesn't change.  Point A is who I want to be.  I want to move toward Point A, so there's a journey to be taken.  For us, Recovery is that path, and believe me, it's the shortest distance between the two.

There is an old saying, The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. To make that first step requires hope.  I hope Point A exists.  I can't shift a muscle until I have that hope.  What's the point otherwise?

 I'm in the mud.  If there's no better place, I might as well wallow in it.  I'm that proverbial boy playing in the mud outside while there's a feast laid out in the palace.  The amusements I'm interested in as a boy are so small in comparison with what I can have as a mature man.  All mud eventually dries, and then I'm just dirty.  There's great joy in coming clean.  I dare myself to experience that.

As a song goes, We were meant to live for so much more.  As another song goes,  I dare you to move.

At the core of all this is the simple truth that of all of us humans, there is not one of us that is hopeless.  Not a single one.  We may abandon hope ourselves, we may wallow in mud outside the gates, we may dig holes for ourselves.  We may hold on so tightly to our own control that we can't grasp the rope offered to us.

My belief is that there is always a light that can never be extinguished.  I believe God made us with unquenchable hope.  We will always have the nagging thought that, as bad as things have gotten, there's a better place to go.  Have you felt that?  We may resist it.  We may bag it, lock it up, and bury it, shove it away somewhere.

We can't escape it. Why?

Because at the most basic level, the source of that hope comes from without us.  Our hope is anchored in the love that only Jesus has for us, a love that deems us worthy and balances us even though we can't do anything to tip the scales either way. 

Romans 5:5 says, "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts..."  (Read 5:6-9 too, while you're there).  A love that we can't get rid of because it doesn't depend on us.  We are worthy of that love just because He says so.  Believe this.  He wants you.  You have worth to Him.

But you don't have to start there.  When the infinite is too much to consider, start small.  There's a better place to be.  There's a better person to become.  Shift a muscle.  Take a step.  I hope you will move.

Grateful Believer,

Joel T.

Why Am I Not "Recovered" Yet?

Hello!  I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ who struggles with lust, overeating, and am recovering from divorce.  My name is Bryant.

 

I came across these words of encouragement from the Celebrate Recovery Texas State Rep, Paul Schnee and wanted to share them with you. 
If you are new to CR and wondering why some people have been in the program for so long, you need to read this.  If you are a CR veteran and have felt discouraged about continuing to "be in recovery", you need to read this.  If you have never attended CR yourself, but you have a friend or family member who has been in CR for a while, you need to read this.  If you have clicked the link and are on this webpage, then you're on it for a reason -- you need to read this.

 

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Not long ago someone asked me why I wasn't recovered yet. They were judging me as weak because I continue in Celebrate Recovery. CR happens to be one of the greatest spiritual growth and discipleship ministries available to the modern church. But it is a process.

And I am weak. Seriously, can I earn my way into God's favor? Can I use my own strength to recover? Will I stop learning and growing this side of God's kingdom?

 

I'm a work in progress on the road to sanctification (recovery). Only Christ can finish what he has started:)

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! (1 Corinthians 10:12)

...let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance... (Proverbs 1:5)

Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. (Psalm 25:4-5)

 
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

I Celebrate Redemption

That’s not fair!

Having grown up as the youngest child in my family, these words were all too often aimed at my parents so that I could appropriately express my disapproval for why my older brother received benefits that I was not yet able to enjoy.  Important benefits such as being able to stay up until 10:30 when my bed time was 10.  Or getting to ride his bike around the neighborhood without parental supervision when I was still using training-wheels.  And no matter how persistently I tried to convince mom and dad of how the treatment my brother received wasn’t fair, they would always answer my dilemma with a particular phrase:  “Life’s not fair.”

At the time I thought this was just a typical parent cop out answer.  You know, answers and phrases like:  Because I said so; Money doesn’t grow on trees; If so and so jumped off a bridge, would you?; or, my personal favorite, One day, God willing, you’ll have one JUST like you.  At the time I didn’t realize how much truth there was in the phrase “Life’s not fair.”

As I journey along this road towards recovery, I am recognizing more and more this unfair, sinful world in which we live.  Life is full of unjust pain.  People endure abuse.  Children suffer from their parents’ divorce.  Death occurs to the least expected.  Addictions are formed without realizing the lifelong consequences that follow.  Day in and day out people battle their hurts, hang-ups, and habits.  Some days are completed victoriously and with ease!  Other days, however, are met with continuous struggle and strife.  The weight of the world can really bog us down and make us feel completely worn.

 
The artist Tenth Avenue North describes in their song Worn a feeling which many in recovery can relate. Feelings of a heavy heart, a soul crushed by the world, hopeless despair, losing the will to fight, empty prayers, and the desperate longing for the death inside to be reborn. Thankfully we have a Savior who provides redemption to a hopeless world! It may seem like the enemy of this world, Satan, is on a dominating streak over the matters of our heart, but (SPOILER ALERT) God wins in the end! I don’t know about you, but I’m incredibly thankful I’m on the winning team! Join us this Friday night to learn how you can also join that winning team. I look forward to seeing you there!

Rescue me from my enemies, Lord; I run to you to hide me.  Teach me to do your will, for you are my God.  May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing.  For the glory of your name, O Lord, preserve my life.  Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress.

Psalm 143:9-11 (NLT)

Grateful Believer,
Bryant

Year 2011 in Review: CR Style

It has been an amazing, God-honoring year for our Celebrate Recovery forever family in 2011.  There have been many great things happen, and I want to use this article to focus on a few (I'm sure I will leave out some important ones, so please forgive me if I do).   I want to begin by talking about my favorite - the testimonies.  In 2011 we had the privilege of hearing 23 testimonies.  Out of those 23 people that shared, 17 of them were new testimonies!  That just might be a CR at MRCC yearly record of new testimonies for one year.

During the summer God blessed 10 of our CR family members to travel to Catacamus, Honduras to build a low ropes course and provide Celebrate Recovery leadership training sessions and general meetings to all who wanted to attend.  We had a fantastic time meeting the local Hondurans, and we did our best to encourage them in their faith and recovery journeys as much as they uplifted us in ours.  We received word about one month ago that their step studies are going great and that their general meeting night is underway.  Praise God!  Is it not great to be a part of a Christ-centered ministry that is helping people worldwide?  Exciting!

This past year was busy with Celebrate Recovery trips (CR Honduras, CR Summit and Skit Guys night at Park Plaza), great monthly trainings, great food every week, several step studies graduated, chain testimonies by both men and women that exemplified the importance of relationships and the kick-off of CR at the Capital Hill Church of Christ.  With the help and direction of the Lord, a focus group team worked together to kick-off CR at Capital Hill on Monday, October 17.  There have been some challenges along the way the past three months, but overall God has done some great things with this new CR group that is meeting.  Let’s all be in prayer that the Lord will bless the efforts of this new program.  Perhaps, you are looking for a way to give back?  This would be a great way for you to serve.    

This great year where God really used us to bring glory and honor to his name was capped off by having a special guest with us on December 16.  Tommy Woodard, one of the Skit Guys, was with us in Large Group.  He really shared from his heart about the importance of letting go of our past baggage and saying “yes” to God in service.  He inspired us with his great talent to illustrate lesson points through drama.  His individual skits were powerful and moving.  He really challenged me to give back to others what God has given me in a deeper way.

Finally, our CR forever family year of 2011 ended with the passing of one of our own, Bob Utley.  His battle with cancer ended on Sunday, December 18; however, he would want me to tell you that his life has really just begun.  For he is no longer in pain or struggling with his cancer or any of his hang-ups and habits.  That battle is over.  And now all he gets to do is sing angelic songs to the King of Kings at the top of his lungs for all eternity.  Let all of us in 2012 continue to live out Bob’s legacy: love one another; serve one another; let us do good to one another. Here’s to another year of accomplishing that resolute goal. 

Until the Whole World Hears – Grateful Believer,

Micah

Taking off my Mask

Over the past three years I've really embraced the idea of "taking off my mask" at CR. 

However, I still struggle with doing that in other areas of my life, mainly work and Sunday morning church.  That is until now.  Earlier this month Nate and I shared our couples testimony with our Bible Class... I'm not talking about a handful of other people, but a good 60-80 couples.  Talk about scary!!

I've known for a long time that God wants us to use our recovery journey to help other couples.  However, finding the right outlet for that hasn't necessarily been easy. Nate has had numerous opportunities to speak at different churches about his struggles.  I always tag along and afterward get numerous questions and comments from the "audience." I had wanted an outlet for myself, a way to share our story, how our marriage has been impacted.

I have prayed about those opportunities and recently felt compelled that we should offer to share with our class. So, we went to the elders of our class and our class chairman and offered to share. They took us up on the idea.

Then there we were, on a Sunday morning, "taking off our mask" in a BIG way. I have to admit the day before and morning of I had a lot of fear. I really struggle with wanting other people's approval and while I know people at CR accept me I wasn't so sure of what the aftermath of this would look like. So up we went-- for the next 30 minutes we spilled our lives in front of them.

Were they shocked, I don't know I could barely look at them partly from nerves and partly from the tears clogging my eyes every few paragraphs. When it was all over several of them came up and thanked us, hugged us and just gave us an overall feeling of support. Then in the days to follow I got numerous messages from people thanking us for our transparency.

I have to admit, we aren't the first in our class to share. We've actually had a few couples sharing their struggles with the class. However, we wanted to do this to share the hope and healing we've found in Christ, through Celebrate Recovery. We wanted people to see that marriages do struggle sometimes, but that by allowing God in healing can take place. 

I see this opportunity as an answer to prayer. I truly believe that God wants us to share our hope and healing with others. Will there be future opportunities? I don't know. Will I take them if there are? You betcha! Sure, I'll still be shaking like crazy when I stand up there, but I also know that God will be there with us sharing HIS story of hope and healing.

Looking back, I'm grateful for the opportunity and glad that I no longer feel like I'm hiding parts of my life from my church family. Now, just to work on that at work... 

Grateful Believer,
Chellie

A better answer...

I’ve been asked three times about the blue wristband/bracelet that I wear. Here’s how those conversations went:

“So what kind of wristband is that? What does it represent?” asked a co-worker.

“Celebrate Recovery,” I tell him. “It’s a Christ-centered recovery program that I’m involved in.”

“That’s that Rick Warren thing, right?”

I spent the next few minutes talking with him about CR and the hope it brings to those who are hurting. I think all he heard was “blah blah, Rick Warren, blah, Jesus, blah.”

The next conversation was with a friend’s 7-year-old.

“What’s that say on your bracelet?” he asked.

“It says ‘Celebrate Recovery’” I replied.

“Oh.” End of conversation.

I realized after these two conversations that I had to figure out a better answer for this question. In order to do that, I had to take some time to figure out exactly what the bracelet really means to me.

By the third asking, I was ready.

Helping out with the 1^st graders at church one Wednesday evening, I got the question.

“Why do you wear that?” he asked, pointing at my wrist.

“It reminds me to make good decisions” was my answer.

And that was it. It was what I knew all along.

Recovery is about making good decisions, one decision at a time. The more I make good decisions, the easier the recovery process gets. I grow closer to God, my family, and my friends. The good decisions add up, and when I find myself faced with big choices that can hurt me, it’s easier to choose the one that leads me closer to God.

The best decision isn’t always the easy one, or the most pleasant, but I wear a daily reminder that I’m not in this alone. When I slip because of a poor choice, the blue around my wrist is a gentle reminder that there’s another opportunity to make things right again.

The blue CR wristband is available online at Celebrate Recovery Gear. Better yet, visit CR@MRCC Friday nights to learn how to heal through good decision making.

The best decision you’ll make is the one that brings you closer to Christ.

Grateful Believer,

Morgan

Cunning, Baffling, and Powerful

The AA "Big Book” calls alcohol “cunning, baffling, and powerful.” It also says that “without help it (meaning alcohol) is too much for us.” The “Big” Big Book (the Bible) says in Romans 7:15-18: “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.”

When I began drinking regularly at age 16 I simply liked the “feeling” alcohol gave me. This is the “cunning” part of alcohol - because long after I lost the peace alcohol had once given me, I continued to think the next time I drank I would have that peace again. Alcohol was “baffling” in that even after a drunk driving car wreck my freshman year in college, multiple blackouts, another drunk driving wreck as a car passenger, an arrest for public intoxication, and other incidents (things much worse than mentioned here, but I’m not ready to put them in a blog) I still thought “I can control my use of alcohol!” And finally it is “powerful.” I would tell myself “I am not drinking today” and I would later that day find myself drinking again. I once quit drinking for 42 days and as soon as I had the next “first drink” I was quickly back to drinking like I had before. I even quit for six months at age 22, I thought I had alcohol beat, but as soon as I drank again it was if I had been drinking all along and not long after I had one of my worst blackout episodes.

It wasn’t until six more years passed, at age 28, that I had my last drink (one day at a time) and have not had a drink in over 16 years. The difference between the last time I drank and all of the times before was that previously I had tried to stop with my willpower instead of using the power of God. Earlier in this entry I quoted Romans 7:15-18. This scripture reminds me that while there may be a part of me that wants to quit using alcohol there will always be another part of me that wants to do what I hate to do. Therefore my will power will never be enough because sin lives in me. It doesn’t matter what hurt, hang up, or habit I have, as long as I live I will always have a sinful nature. It is this knowledge of self that makes Romans 8:1-5 so incredible!

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit. Those who live according to the sinful nature have their mind set on what nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their mind set on what the Spirit desires.”

Every day when I wake up I am an untreated alcoholic/sinner and every day I get on my knees and seek His will because I deal with an addiction that is cunning, baffling, and powerful and because I have a sinful nature that invites me to do what I don’t want to do. It is comforting to know that all I need to do every minute and every day is to be willing to submit to his power instead of my own and I am free. There is no special key needed to unlock this power it is a simple decision that I make. There is no special intelligence needed only the humility to let God be in control and for me to get out of the way.

Grateful Believer,

Sheldon

The Beginning of CR@MRCC

God works in mysterious ways.  Often times, he works in ways we cannot see, but sometimes he works in ways you simply cannot deny.  In the summer of 2005 one of our elder’s wives approached me about starting a recovery ministry at Memorial Road.

I told her that I would “pray about it,” which was my way of politely saying, “Leave me alone about it.”  However, over the course of the next few weeks God brought three other people it my life requesting the same ministry.  It was then that I started to consider how God might use me to start a recovery ministry at MRCC.

I was five years into my own recovery from alcohol at this point.  My recovery beginning was in AA; but, I was not convinced AA would be helpful for others who were not alcoholics.  So, with the help of these three other people we began to research recovery programs across the nation.  This is when we found out about Celebrate Recovery (CR).

CR was exactly what I was looking for.  It was not only recovery for the person with the hurt, hang-up or habit, but it was also for their entire family.  Also, CR was not only for people with addictions.  It was for people with any kind of life struggle.

We were encouraged and excited about CR.  We found out about it in July and booked our airplane tickets and conference admission for the 2005 CR Summit at Saddleback Church in August.  We took seven people on this research trip.  It was an amazing experience to see over 3,000 people at the Summit hungry for Jesus’ grace, healing and forgiveness.  It was here that we learned how to kick-off CR in the proper way.   

2006 Kick-off

Friday night, January 13, 2006 was our kick-off service.  With much anticipation we awaited what would happen.  We had 12 people who had completed a step study and were committed to leadership for the first year of our program.  We really had no idea what to expect on that first night.

God blessed us with about 55 people that first night.  We had folks with all kinds of hurts, hang-ups and habits show up.  Some were from our church family, but we also had many from the community show up to see what CR was all about.  Over the course of the first few weeks something happened that we did not expect.  People who had left the church for various reasons were showing up at CR; and, I am humbled to share that many of them are now faithful members of the church due to what Jesus did in them at CR.  It was a great beginning to a ministry that continues to change lives in the name of Jesus Christ!

What God has done and continues to do… 

In my wildest dreams, I could have never imagined all that Jesus has done through CR.  The biggest blessing for me is that my life is changed as I have the opportunity to witness life change in others.  In the past five years, countless individuals and couples have come to CR and Jesus has given them hope, strength, healing and freedom from all sorts of hurts, hang-ups and habits.

Marriages have been saved.  Individuals have found their way out of darkness. The chains of pornography, drugs, depression, anger, resentment, alcohol, codependency among other life struggles have been broken through the power of Jesus Christ.  And as Jesus sets us free from these life struggles, he restores us and prepares us to be servants in this wonderful ministry.  CR is a leadership factory; but, not just any kind of leader.  I believe Jesus equips servant-hearted leaders out of CR.  Why?  When I experience the amazing grace, forgiveness and healing of Jesus and see that come to fruition in my life, I am in response ready and willing to share those gifts with someone else.

And that is why I love CR.  It is a Christ-centered recovery program that provides the opportunity for anyone to find freedom from any of life’s hurts, hang-ups or habits; but, in return, the Lord through this ministry calls us to “give it back.”  We do not keep recovery to ourselves; instead, we share it with as many people as we possibly can.

My prayer is that the Lord will continue to bring people into our lives that we can share the good news with.  That Jesus will lead us to some soul today and that we would share with that person how Jesus has changed our lives forever.  Please join us this Friday night and experience this Jesus who has changed my life, and I believe will change yours too.

Grateful Believer,

Micah