Going The Speed Limit

I have a confession to share. It's one of the many reasons I attend Celebrate Recovery and just about every week I need a new blue chip for it. Hi, my name is Gabby, I'm a grateful believer in Jesus and I struggle with impatiently driving behind old ladies in the fast lane and navigating through a school zone while running behind.

Yes, I like to pretend that I am Jeff Gordon while on the road, so sue me. Just kidding, please don't, unless I accidentally sideswiped your car, then I'm sorry. I'm only saying that when I am unable to go the speed that I WANT to go I get upset.

If the German Autobahn allows people to go as fast as they like, then why should I have to slow down? Captain Barbossa from Pirates of the Caribbean best summarizes speed limits when he described the Pirate’s Code, "They're more like guidelines anyway." Daily I like to believe that I can go as fast as I please, but with the Lord and Celebrate Recovery I am reminded that sometimes I need to slow down.

I remember when I first started coming to Celebrate Recovery; I had just ended an addicting and abusive relationship and needed some guidance. Immediately I joined a step study and began to work the steps of recovery. I knew that step studies took over nine months to complete but by month two I was wondering why I wasn't "healing" and "letting go" of my past hurts sooner.

Recently I have been reflecting on the importance of having an accountability team and have found what huge role they play in my own recovery. My support team is like the speed limit signs that are found on the streets. With assistance from my sponsor and accountability partner, I was able to adapt to my own pace and make progress within my recovery.

Whenever I'm trying to speed down the recovery highway, my sponsor will pull me over and remind me that there is not a quick fix. When I am drifting away, paralyzed from fear, or just stagnant in my recovery, my accountability partner will come up and honk her horn (in a loving way, not the mean tailgating nonsense) reminding me that I need to pick up the pace. Either way, having a support team is essential for me to continue taking one step at a time.

Grateful Believer,

Gabby

Restoring the Nest

Amy W

This past Saturday, we sold my kids backyard play-set. As this nice family was packing up to leave, the father asked me what I wanted him to do with my little girl's birdhouse. I had totally forgotten that two years ago, we had attached this hand-painted birdhouse to the very top of the swing set. Without much thought, I just told the man to leave the house on the edge of the fence.

Little did I know that there was a little family of birds living inside of that birdhouse.

A couple of hours later, I walked out into the backyard to enjoy a little sunshine. No more had I stepped onto the back porch, than this Momma and Daddy bird opened up a full-on attack. They were both flying at me from different directions, making it very clear that they were quite unhappy.

Through my dodging of these "angry birds" I saw something hop along the back fence line.  It was a baby bird. I quickly ran out and scooped up the bird and returned it to the bird house, all the while being dive-bombed by the the adult birds. This scene was repeated again and again, as I walked the fence line and found a total of 4 baby birds that had been displaced from their happy home.

I gave myself a little pat on the back for my good deed and fully expected to get a little expression of gratitude from these little birds. But strangely enough, these birds continued to attack me even after I had returned their little home to it's former state! Honestly, I was a little irritated that my efforts had not been more appreciated.

It didn't take me long to appreciate the life/recovery parallel of this situation. You see, I was the person who wrecked my own family's home. I physically and mentally left my family in the chaos of my addiction. When I returned home from treatment, I felt like a new person; one that could restore my family. 

I thought that I could come home and immediately be recognized for the amazing person I thought that I had become. I assumed that everyone would automatically forget the person I used to be, and extend their full trust without hesitation. But I failed to recognize the scars that I had left behind.  I had found healing, but I forgot that there was still so much healing left to do.

After a couple of days, the birds are peaceful in their new location. They are no longer attacking me when I walk outside. They now seem to recognize that I am not a threat to them. Gaining my family's trust and confidence back took TIME. It took REPETITION. It took PERSISTENCE. But slowly and surely, that trust started being restored.

I realize now, the truth that addiction is a family disease. It is not just the individual that suffers. And just as the consequences of addiction do not happen overnight, nor do the blessings of recovery. But God does promise His plans to prosper us and not harm us, if we choose to follow him. I had to be willing to face all of those hurts again as I returned home. It was painful, but I had to be willing to face that pain in order for healing to begin, and full restoration to be possible. 

I can now honestly say, that my family and household are at peace again. I am no longer seen as a threat. The walls have come down, and we are fully enjoying the new life that we have built. I am no longer hurting them, and they are no longer living in fear of being hurt. And everyday, I thank God that through recovery, this new life has been made possible.

Grateful Believer, 

.

The Lonely Mile

Do you remember the emotions you were feeling when you walked into your first recovery meeting?  If you are reading this and have never been to a recovery meeting, you know the emotions I’m talking about.  You feel them in your gut every time you start to think about going for the first time.  And for those who have walked that lonely mile across the parking lot and into your first recovery meeting, you know that it is a daunting task to go inside.

I believe it is important for us to never forget those emotions of our first recovery night.  I know for me that when I walked through the doors of my first AA meeting I was greeted warmly and accepted right away.  That meant the world to me and calmed my anxieties, though I would have never admitted that in the moment.  So, it is my prayerful goal to share that same warmth and friendliness with every newcomer that comes through our doors on Friday nights.  

This week as I was scrolling through Facebook updates, I saw this update from the Celebrate Recovery page.  “It's Friday......woo-hoo....you know what that means CR's all over the country are going to be meeting tonight. Can't wait to see who God is going to send. Remember it's all about the NEWCOMER. Let's roll out the red carpet, someone is coming home tonight!” (Mac Owen CR National "A" coach)

Mac is right.  Every Friday night we should roll out the red carpet and welcome home every newcomer that walks through the door.  As God blesses us with newcomers on Friday nights, let us be Jesus’ hands and feet and welcome them home!

Grateful Believer,

Micah