Breathe Easy

For the past three months, on my morning commute to work, I have been hitting the same wall over and over again. Do not worry, my car has survived the trip every day with ease. However, my poor nose has taken a beating day after day.
     
Every morning Monday through Friday I travel on I-40 East towards Midwest City and every morning my poor car hits a “wall” of a very fragrant aroma. The first couple of trips I assumed my car had somehow come across the carcass of a skunk or some other small animal and the smell would soon dissipate. And the smell would go away for a while, but every morning it would come back again.
       
After the first couple of weeks of these smelly episodes, I was starting to become annoyed because I thought someone needed to do something about the decaying body that was causing this potent tang. The next couple of months I figured there had to be a nearby landfill or factory of some sort because the stench only penetrated my car after the first seven to ten minutes of my drive. The weird thing is that the smell always seemed to be around the same part of the city near the Agnew exit.
       
Finally I called my husband one morning after cruising with my windows down and I began to waft in the all too familiar stench. I asked him what it could possibly be. “Stockyard City,” he told me.
All along I had been driving right next to a very large cattle-trading arena and did not realize it until someone else brought it to my attention. My “denial” of the issue, trying to ignore it and make excuses as to what could be causing, prevented me from reaching out sooner to discover the root cause.
       
I will be honest: it was almost a year after my first visit to Celebrate Recovery before I decided to truly face my denial and seek help for my addictions. The constant rationalization of behaviors and inability to acknowledge faults prevented me to seek help when the “stench” of my compulsions continued to hit me in the face.. It wasn’t until I fully committed myself to God and to my recovery that I was able to reach out and ask for help.
     
With the help of my sponsor and accountability partners, I was able to acknowledge my own denial and accept that if I continued to take that same path of denial then I would continue to drive into the same wall of cologne. Instead of aimlessly driving into the fragrant aroma of denial, with God and my forever family, I can roll up the windows in the car, turn on the A/C, and breathe easy.

Grateful Believer,

Gabby

Between Points A and B, there is Recovery

I want this to be concurrent with where the program's lessons are right now, in January, and that's Step 1 and Principle 1.  I also know that when He gives me an idea, I just go, or I don't.  I'm going.  As a song says, You have called me deeper / And I will go where you will lead me...  

Please don't read my words and think I have all the answers.  Think of me as a fellow traveler on the road, happy to walk beside you and encourage with shared stories, dreams, and hopes.

This is about hope, and that is appropriate for the beginning.  It's preliminary to Step 1: not the realization of it, nor the conclusion, not the end of the race.  Hope.

The newcomer has it.  That's you, hopefully.  That's me when I admit a new struggle.  They/you might not realize it, but that's what gets you through our doors.  At the very beginning.  I have realized something about me.  I'm broken.  There's something wrong with me.

I can't fix it.

I've tried.  How I've tried!  How I have fought.  How I have struggled.  How I have sought to control what I do.  I can't do it.  I fail.  I've failed.  I can't fix me.  I am part of the problem.

At that point I see Recovery.  If that's Celebrate Recovery, great!  If that's not CR but some other set of initials, like SA, SAA, AA, NA, among others. I thank God you have found its doors, and I extend the invitation that you are welcome to add CR to your list of meetings.  Recovery happens on many levels and at your own speed.

I see Recovery.  I see a group that meets with the expectation and express purpose of getting well. Recovery is hope in disguise.  I see that others struggle.  Others fail.  Others keep coming back.  There are positive examples to offset my own negatives.

I go to a meeting.  Why?  Surely I am at wit's end.  I know I can't fix me, but I have hope.  I have a seed of hope, however small, that there is an answer, even if at this point it's beyond me.

It is beyond me.

I realize I'm not God.  I admit that I'm powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.  (Principle 1)

My name is Joel.  I'm a grateful believer in our Lord, Jesus, the Christ.  I struggle with sex addiction and divorce.

But I have hope.  I haven't even fully internalized Celebrate Recovery's Principle 1 and everything it can and will mean in my life.

I will have many different hopes over the course of my recovery, over the rest of my life.  Some will be met during my life.  One will have to wait until after I die.  Another helps me focus on the kind of life and love and relationships I want to have.  All my hopes have to be surrendered, folded up in His arms and subject to His will.  

All hopes boil down to one quick geometric principle.  The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.  (Do we have Pythagoras to thank for that one?)  Well, it's true, and all Truth comes first from God.  I have Points A and B.  I'm at Point B, a state of loss, despair, grief.  A dwelling in the house of failure.  That's Point B.

Point A could be just about anywhere else, as long as it's a healthy place.  I'll try to keep it simple for my own sake.  Point B is who I am at the end of my rope, maybe even the end of my life if something doesn't change.  Point A is who I want to be.  I want to move toward Point A, so there's a journey to be taken.  For us, Recovery is that path, and believe me, it's the shortest distance between the two.

There is an old saying, The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. To make that first step requires hope.  I hope Point A exists.  I can't shift a muscle until I have that hope.  What's the point otherwise?

 I'm in the mud.  If there's no better place, I might as well wallow in it.  I'm that proverbial boy playing in the mud outside while there's a feast laid out in the palace.  The amusements I'm interested in as a boy are so small in comparison with what I can have as a mature man.  All mud eventually dries, and then I'm just dirty.  There's great joy in coming clean.  I dare myself to experience that.

As a song goes, We were meant to live for so much more.  As another song goes,  I dare you to move.

At the core of all this is the simple truth that of all of us humans, there is not one of us that is hopeless.  Not a single one.  We may abandon hope ourselves, we may wallow in mud outside the gates, we may dig holes for ourselves.  We may hold on so tightly to our own control that we can't grasp the rope offered to us.

My belief is that there is always a light that can never be extinguished.  I believe God made us with unquenchable hope.  We will always have the nagging thought that, as bad as things have gotten, there's a better place to go.  Have you felt that?  We may resist it.  We may bag it, lock it up, and bury it, shove it away somewhere.

We can't escape it. Why?

Because at the most basic level, the source of that hope comes from without us.  Our hope is anchored in the love that only Jesus has for us, a love that deems us worthy and balances us even though we can't do anything to tip the scales either way. 

Romans 5:5 says, "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts..."  (Read 5:6-9 too, while you're there).  A love that we can't get rid of because it doesn't depend on us.  We are worthy of that love just because He says so.  Believe this.  He wants you.  You have worth to Him.

But you don't have to start there.  When the infinite is too much to consider, start small.  There's a better place to be.  There's a better person to become.  Shift a muscle.  Take a step.  I hope you will move.

Grateful Believer,

Joel T.

I celebrate giving thanks!

To be honest I was scrambling to find a blog post for this week that goes along with our topic “I celebrate ___”.  I started thinking back to previous blog posts and remembered one that my dad, Bob, wrote for the blog years ago.  The time of year was fitting so I thought I would re-post it.  As most of you know, my dad lost his battle with cancer almost 1 year ago on December 18, 2011.  Dad loved Celebrate Recovery!  He loved how God used it in his life, it was a blessing to him and he would tell anyone who would listen.  Anyone!  

As the crazy holiday season approaches take a minute to stop and really celebrate giving thanks and reflect on how God has truly blessed your life!

Grateful Believer,
Karyn


Take a minute to read what my dad wrote back in 2010…

I was asked to share some thoughts for the blog entry this week as our nation pauses to give thanks.  Actually, I think it has become more of a precursor for the dropping of the flags to start the Christmas race, but all in all, it does at least get some of us to consider being thankful.  If not daily, at least once a year. 

God has given us all many things to be thankful for.  For me, it is my family, my health, my friends, my recovery (both physical and mental), and then a whole list of things too numerous to count.  But, as in all things good, there is the other force at work in this world that wants to steal our happiness and our thankfulness.  Satan attacks on every front – we have to be ready for his arsenal of hurt.  And, as long as we are alive, we get no reprieve.

There are some verses in the Bible that really speak to me, but there are others, well to be honest, some of them are hard for me to comprehend.  But this passage in Colossians 3: 12-17 is one that is very encouraging to me.  This passage talks about putting on the new elements that make us God’s chosen ones.  What more could we be thankful for than to have an opportunity to get to change who we are to become someone new –someone blessed with the love of God.

“Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.  And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

I love those last words... “Whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”  I really try to give God thanks in all things and I try to do it daily.  But, I’ll be honest, some days, I don’t do it.  I let my busy schedule or other events dictate my activity, and I let thanking God slip through the cracks. 

So in closing, let me just ask you, what are you thankful for?  Have you told the person(s) responsible for your blessings how thankful you are for what they have done for you?  Have you told God how thankful you are for what he has done for you?   

This is a wonderful time to be reminded that we have so much to be thankful for.  But being reminded doesn’t mean much if we don’t do something about it.  Give Thanks!

…give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus…. 

I Thessalonians 5:18 

Grateful Believer,  

Bob 

I CELEBRATE...taking off my mask!

I can't believe it's been a little over 8.5 years since my husband and I got married. That is a LONG time and yet it seems like just a couple of years ago. Maybe it's because I've been in an autopilot coma for many stretches of it! It's definitely been a roller-coaster. Honestly, it's a miracle I'm even able to blog about this. In March, on our 8th year anniversary, we were not even living together. We had a settlement we both agreed to and in June, I had finally felt at peace with the decision to go our separate ways. We even had a counseling session over how to tell the kids, which turned into something much different.

 I really can't even remember what particular thing happened that changed our marriage, I just know we took a different path...and I'm very glad we did!

These 8 years have definitely not been a Cinderella story. There needs to be a sequel where Cinderella and Prince Charming get beat up with sicknesses, have a couple demanding jobs, several sad family situations, painful events, and bad coping skills...yet still make it through alive. That is what Happily Ever After really means!!

I don't have a sappy ending that says our life is perfect now, but we are probably more open and closer than we ever have been. I do believe there is always hope for a marriage when both are committed and have positive encouraging support.

As for just life, there's been another hurtful event this year and I've never been one to stay in the victim mentality very long. It's completely counterproductive, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm currently there. I've always liked to think there is a reason for everything, a blessing in every storm, a silver lining. At the same time, I think it is totally OK to be sick and tired of finding the silver lining. Sometimes things are hard and I don't care that there will be a blessing later on, I just want to punch something and scream “it's not fair!!” It's a normal place to be, but dangerous when I’m there alone. I've struggled spiritually, emotionally, and physically many times in my life, but especially this year. Thankfully, through Celebrate Recovery and other small groups and prayer groups at church, I've found great friends that are willing to listen. Friends who will pray for me when I can't. 

If you are struggling, reach out. If I didn't have some of the friends I have, this story most likely would have been a lot different. 

Masks are stupid. Reality is more effective.

Grateful Believer,

KT

The Dog Days of Summer

{Our new CR blog summer series is entitled The Dog Days of Summer.  We will be talking about summer outings/events/things in our lives that were “us in the past” and now, because of Jesus (and recovery), what we do instead of those things OR topics like “recovery doesn’t take a summer break”!  Should be a great RECOVERY focused Summer!  Stay tuned.}

Hello, I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ that struggles with dipping and gambling, my name is Travis. 

When I was in college I would come to OKC every summer to play in a wood bat baseball league.  I would often stay with my friend from high school, girlfriend, or just some random person on the baseball team.  My Christian walk was not even established yet so I did not attend church on Sundays because I was playing baseball every Sunday. 

I worked for the state of Oklahoma as a construction worker and would often have to miss work because of baseball games.  My commitment to baseball during the summers was the only thing that I wanted to do.  I made sure that I was at every game and every practice.  I think back on this time in my life to wonder what was missing.  Who and what did I faith in? What would I sacrifice to play baseball? 

Now as a leader in Celebrate Recovery, faithful follower of Jesus Christ, and a guy striving to be more like God and His son I have the same attitude towards Church and Friday night attendance.  I now am chasing the ultimate prize of one day being in Heaven by following God. 

I know there are times where I would like to miss a church service on Sundays because of a baseball tournament for my kids.  My kids have games and tournaments on Friday nights as well, however I miss those because I feel that I need to be at Celebrate Recovery for me on Friday nights.  My Recovery does not take a Friday off.  My recovery does not have a rain out.  I have to continue to make a effort in my recovery to ensure that I am drawing closer to God. 

I encourage you through this blog to come on Friday nights.  Make God a priority just as you have made something else a priority in your past.  God will continue to present opportunities in your life to draw close to him.  The question is are you going to take it.  Dog days of Summer are upon us, what will you decide to do?

Grateful Believer,

Travis   

Dedication = Celebrate Recovery

Hello my name is Travis, I am a grateful believer in Jesus, and I struggle with gambling and control.  Have you ever trained for anything?  Maybe it is training for a long run, dieting, or just training your body how to move in a better way because of injury.  During that training, I am sure you did not wake up one day and say to yourself, “I am going to lose 20 pounds today” – because we all know that is not possible.  But, maybe you have thought that and let me be the first to tell you - that will not happen. 

I have been training for a half marathon and it takes a lot of time, dedication, and mental toughness to do that.  Sure, do I want to sleep in some mornings when I know I should be up running, working out, or just being active to build that endurance?  The answer to that is yes; however, I know that I have to get up because on race day I will not be in shape to complete the race.  My body will not have the endurance to reach the finish line if I do not train. 

I need to think of Celebrate Recovery in that same context.  What are the goals I am trying to achieve in my recovery journey?  Is it to wake up one day and say “ I am going to be free of all my hurts, habits, and hang-ups?”  NO!  Again, that is impossible.  I have to train my mind, body, and spirit to look to God to heal me.  I have to rely on others to help me through the journey. 

So the real question here is, “When will I know that race day is here for Celebrate Recovery?”.  Is the race ever over?  That is a question I have been asked so many times.  “Travis you have been coming to Celebrate Recovery for almost 6 years - when are you going to be done?”  Well, I have to answer that with, “Never!”  Every day I still must get up and choose to commit my life and will to God.  It would be very easy to sleep in or do what I wanted that day; however, I know that would not be the best training I could do in my walk with the Almighty Father. 

Grateful Believer,

Travis

It's all about me...

I started the year off with a one year reading plan from www.youversion.com I would like to say that I am doing awesome with it and that I am right on track.  I'm not a big fan of lying though, so I guess I'll just admit my plan didn't last very long.

I wonder why they call it YOUversion?  I guess because YOU (I) get to pick whatever Bible reading plan I want, but I've allowed it to be too much about me and not at all about Him.  I need the HIMversion. 

Principle Seven states, Reserve a daily time with God for self examination, Bible readings and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will. It is not easy to daily engage in this principle.

His plan for me wouldn't be that I would skip days of reading His Word, let alone spending time WITH HIM.  I do both.  I like to rationalize it.  I'm too busy.  My son needs me right now, my daughter needs me, my Mom needs me...  No, the truth is that I need God.  I need to admit that I haven't been living in a solid relationship with Him and make a change.  I need to remember the cross.  He came back on the 3rd day for ME.  He gives me grace.  As I work my recovery and make this a daily process, I realize I might need to ask some accountability partners to check on me to make sure I’m in HIS word!  (That’s the beauty of CR accountability partners!)

Let the Word be thorough in your life. "All Scripture is God‑breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."2 Timothy 3:16, 17 

I’m working my recovery so I’m equipped to be used for HIS good works…

Grateful Believer,

Jennifer

My God's Not Dead

Perhaps you have heard the song on the radio “My God’s Not Dead” by the Newsboys.  The song says this in the chorus:  “My God’s not dead he is surely alive.  He’s living on the inside, roaring like a lion.”  I love that line in the song that reminds me of this Scriptural truth:  “Then one of the elders said to me, ‘Do not weep!  See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed.” (Rev. 5:5) Jesus Christ is that Lion of Judah.  He is that Root of David, and he lives in our hearts through faith (Ephesians 3:17).  So, let me and the apostle Paul ask you this question: “If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:31-32)    

God is alive and well in each one of us! He is roaring like a lion, living like a burning flame in our hearts.  And it is through His mighty strength that we can do anything in this life.  If He is for us, than who can be against us?  So, what is it that you are battling today?  Is it death?  Jesus promises each one of life out of death.  Are you sick?  Pray to the ONE who can heal you and give you strength to make it through the tough time.  Is it addiction?  Surrender your life to the ONE who can set you free!  Is it a dysfunctional relationship?  Ask for wisdom and courage to do the right thing from the ONE who loves you unconditionally and gave up His life for you.

Whatever your battle is today, you can certainly rest assured that the Lion of Judah is not dead, he is alive and he is on your side!  Turn to him today and find freedom and hope for your hurt, hang-up or habit.

Grateful believer,

Micah    

One Step in My Shoes...

I recently got a new pair of shoes.  A pair of Vans, they were in style when I was in high school.  I’m not into fashion, so I have no clue if kids today wear them or not.  A friend of mine designs shoe tattoos and he designed a pair just for me.  There is no other pair out there like them, because these shoes are about my steps, the steps I take one at a time, striving to make it in this world.

Living one day at a time, one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace…  Not an easy thing to do!  The concept sounds so simple but letting go and accepting the difficult times while seeing challenges as a way to peace are both counterintuitive in my head.   Once I walked into the doors of CR, I clearly knew my life was unmanageable.  The degree to which I was out of control was out of my realm of comprehension and believing that I mattered to God flew in the face of my depression.  I stuck with it, to be totally honest though, I mostly just liked the music.  

Twelve steps, that’s a lot of steps when the second one is easy to own intellectually, but feels impossible to emotionally grasp.  I was willing to try though, and I had a lot of people on my side.  I had entirely nothing to lose, because at that point my life had absolutely no value to me at all. My part is to walk one moment at a time, one step at a time, carrying the smallest amount of faith and I am able to lie down and sleep in peace because He keeps me safe (Psalm 4:8).

I have only been able to sleep well in the last 6-8 months for the first time in about 6 years.  At first doctors didn’t even believe me when I told them I averaged 3 hours of sleep per night.  To finally be able to sleep, that is a blessing that came along with a lighter load in my heart.  It is for this reason that Psalm 4:8 is so awesome to me. 

So, I do sleep better, but there are still so many struggles surrounding me.  Some are temptations, those sins that I have such a hard time of breaking free from; however, 1 Corinthians 10:13 tells me that the temptations in my life are no different from what others experience and God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than I can stand. When I am tempted, he will show me a way out so that I can endure. 

Some of my struggles though had nothing to do with me avoiding temptation, but rather accepting the things I cannot change.  I want to fix things and I want to do it NOW.  I struggle with PTSD which is by far my greatest hurdle.  I feel like a flailing octopus with feelings and fears headed in every direction.   God is on my side, but I need the tools to attack that octopus.  Celebrate Recovery gives me the support of a fearless piranha to go after those struggles with vigor. 

Even sharks and barracuda will typically attack smaller prey.  With my team of support that has been formed through this Friday night blessing, God has provided me with a piranha, together we form the most ferocious fish in the entire world to rip its teeth through the flesh and bone of my greatest struggles.  Together we are powerful enough to tear apart whatever life brings.  If you are reading this and don’t yet have a team of support, I encourage you to get one as no one succeeds as a lone fish in the sea.

Grateful Believer,

Jennifer

Recovery - It's a New Year!

Obviously this video by The Skit Guys was intended for the New Year, but when I watched it I immediately thought of the journey of recovery. 

Each week we have people that stand up to receive chips for 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, one year and then multiple years - which means at some point those people stood up that FIRST TIME and took a blue chip and said "this year will be different".  We are so blessed that each week we have the chance to start a NEW YEAR!



Will this year be different for you?

Grateful Believer,

Karyn

My Name is the Syrophoenician Woman

In Mark 7:24-30 we learn about a Gentile mother with a demon-possessed daughter.    Jesus was focusing on training his disciples and preparing for his return to his Father by way of the cross and the resurrection and ascension.

 

The woman learned of Jesus’ presence and with much determination begged Jesus to drive the demon out of her daughter.  Jesus was busy.  Tending to the Gentiles was not yet on his agenda; however, she had much humility and begged for even a crumb from under the table of his saving grace so that her daughter’s starving soul could be healed.  Jesus granted her petition and she returned home to find her daughter delivered from the demon.

We don’t know what ultimately happens to the woman’s daughter.  I have two children, one of whom has some pretty serious problems.  Some parents have children with addictions or other obsessive behaviors that make it very easy for them to become codependent.  I can’t fix my child.  No one can.   Only God can change my children and they have to want that change. 

I must follow the example of the Syrophoenician Woman and meekly fall at the feet of Jesus and voice my petitions to Him.  At that point I must let go.  I take actions in my daily life responding to my loved ones with appropriate boundaries while putting all of my hope in Jesus.  I seek change in my life and share my pain with other parents experiencing similar struggles and I walk together hand in hand praying that my faith will increase and my heart will begin to heal.  I then live this before my children with the hope that they will one day embrace hope in Jesus and take their own first steps toward recovery.

That’s my version of the Syrophoenician Woman.

Grateful Believer,
Jennifer

5 years.

Five years ago on January 25, 2007, I was terrified. I didn't know what to do. My wife didn't know what to do. I was STILL stuck. It felt like I had tried everything to quit, but the reality was, I had never even said the words out loud. "I struggle with pornography."

On that day though, I had come to the realization that I couldn't do it on my own and that I wasn't meant to do it on my own.

I still didn't say the words, but I wrote them...and sent them.

From my email to Micah that day:

I've struggled with pornography for years. Its been there through my highs as a Christian and obviously it's caused a lot of lows. I'm somewhere in the middle right now, but I just can't help but feeling that Satan is slowly trying to isolate me.  I've tried everything I can think of, but the shame that comes with this type of sin has really kept me from confessing my struggles to others...

...I'm just tired of being trapped. I pray that God will set me free, but I'm afraid I can't do it on my own. I need him and I need his people. I've been curious about the Celebrate Recovery thing on Friday nights...

Fast forward to this past month on January 27th...I celebrated 5 years of healing and recovery in Jesus Christ. And that 'Celebrate Recovery thing on Friday nights?' It's been my way of discovering and living in God's wonderful light.

By walking in the light and bringing my hidden sins in God's light I've seen His promise of purification and fellowship come true in my life.

When I come to Celebrate Recovery and confess my struggles, my temptations and my sins; I get better. By sharing those things with other faithful believers, I experience Christ's church as  it was intended to be. I have sincere fellowship. I know my brothers and they know me! More importantly I now know my savior. Jesus Christ is no longer just the Son of God, a distant figure who I have a flickering faith in. He's my savior. In my moments of temptation, he saves me. In my deepest hurts, he saves me. In my failure, he saves me.

Five years is a long time. It's been an awesome and blessed journey. There's not a single aspect of my life that recovery has not Impacted for the better. It's made me a better Husband, Father, Co-worker, Friend, Brother, Son and follower of Christ.

If you're  feeling trapped by a hurt, a hang-up or a habit...I beg you to give C.R. a try. Give it 6 months, give it a year and experience God's wonderful light for yourself.

Nate

-a grateful believer

Be wise.

Fifteen years ago, I began making decisions based on my own selfish ambitions and desires.  Instead of making wise decisions, I decided to live the life of a fool.  Listen to the apostle Paul’s words in Ephesians 5:15-17: “Be very careful, then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.  Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.”    

On Sunday evenings, we are in the middle of a sermon series titled, “Fool Proof: The One Question that Works for Every Decision.”  As a part of our recoveries, we make important decisions every day.  We decide to stay sober or not.  We decide to indulge in that dysfunctional behavior or relationship or not.  We decide to allow our hurts of the past or present to engulf us or not.  We make our decisions and then our decisions make us.  This is why it is vitally important to pray for God’s wisdom and strength so that we can understand His will for our lives and then carry that out.

So, what is that one question that always works?  Before we get to that question, it is vitally important that you seek wise counsel to help you adequately evaluate your past, present and future.  Then, with the help of your sponsor and accountability partners you can ask the one question that works: in light of my past experiences/failures, my present circumstances and my future goals, what is the wise thing for me to do?  What is the wise thing for you to do…in light of God’s will…making the most of every opportunity.

If we will run every decision we make through that filter, we can avoid living the life of a fool.  Be wise my friends.

Grateful believer,

Micah

Sweet Amends..

Step 9 states that we are to make direct amends to people we have harmed whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.  I find myself somewhat “caught up” in this area for the first time in my life.  Of course, tomorrow I’ll probably need to apologize to someone else, but today I have a light feeling in my chest of having finally located someone I lied about back in 1988.  It was a lie.  It isn’t the only lie I have ever told and probably not the “worst” lie I ever told, but God made it very clear to me that THIS was a lie that needed a direct apology to the person.

Obviously God’s ways are not my ways and my thinking when I wrote this lie down during step 4 wasn’t necessarily that it was that big of a deal, but it certainly needed to be on that paper.  I’ve heard from a lot of folks that step 4 is overwhelming just to think about.  I always knew I heard the beat of a different drummer, but for me, I couldn’t get that done quick enough.  I had the weight of the world on my shoulders because I felt so full of guilt from the things I had done.  I flew through steps 1-3 so fast that I ultimately had to start over because they are the foundation and without a solid foundation, obviously, I could not stand. 

So, step 4 was finished and I shared it with my sponsor, I kept attending meetings and working with a strong team of support and over time I located people and said a lot of apologies.  I was met with a tremendous amount of grace from almost everyone.  One person even told me that some great things had come from the mess I had created.  I would have never known that if I hadn’t had the opportunity to apologize to him.  One ask me if I had made a specific change in my life and when I confirmed that I had, she told me that was the best thing I could do for her was to not repeat the behavior.  That was the price I need to pay for my amends to her.  I am willing.  At this point I was holding on to Romans 8:1 which states there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

I pressed on and fell back and pushed forward and lost my balance along the way, but while living in what often feels like a tornado, I seem to be spinning towards healing.  However, there was still that one lie out there.  That one that I knew God wanted me to apologize for, but I didn’t even know how to find her.  I knew a little about her path after high school, but not much.  I had once looked up her name on Facebook and matched her name, but none of the faces seemed to fit.  A couple of days ago I tried again and this time I found a name that shared ONE mutual friend with me.  I figured it had to be her.  I messaged the mutual friend to confirm I had the right person and was thrilled to learn that I did. 

Twenty-four years after the wrong and I wrote her an apology.  I haven’t heard back from her and its okay if I do or I don’t.  My responsibility was to apologize and expect nothing in return.  I did ask if she desired for me to tell anyone else about the lie and let her know that I had already confessed this to some “key” people.  If she gets back to me and needs something more, I’ll have some more work to do.  If not, I really am okay with it.  24 years of feeling guilty for hanging on to a lie is long enough.  Every injustice has a price to pay.  I can’t undo the harm of my lie; however, I can, with God’s help, quickly admit my wrongs so that I am not holding them for years and years.  One day at a time, one moment at a time, I can do the right thing to others even if I can never make it right with the one I hurt.  Today I feel free to live in the present as far as the messes that I made of my own life.  I feel free because God tells me in Isaiah 55:7b that if I turn to the Lord He will have mercy on me and He will pardon me freely.  Freely, how sweet that sounds.

Grateful Believer,
Jennifer

Year 2011 in Review: CR Style

It has been an amazing, God-honoring year for our Celebrate Recovery forever family in 2011.  There have been many great things happen, and I want to use this article to focus on a few (I'm sure I will leave out some important ones, so please forgive me if I do).   I want to begin by talking about my favorite - the testimonies.  In 2011 we had the privilege of hearing 23 testimonies.  Out of those 23 people that shared, 17 of them were new testimonies!  That just might be a CR at MRCC yearly record of new testimonies for one year.

During the summer God blessed 10 of our CR family members to travel to Catacamus, Honduras to build a low ropes course and provide Celebrate Recovery leadership training sessions and general meetings to all who wanted to attend.  We had a fantastic time meeting the local Hondurans, and we did our best to encourage them in their faith and recovery journeys as much as they uplifted us in ours.  We received word about one month ago that their step studies are going great and that their general meeting night is underway.  Praise God!  Is it not great to be a part of a Christ-centered ministry that is helping people worldwide?  Exciting!

This past year was busy with Celebrate Recovery trips (CR Honduras, CR Summit and Skit Guys night at Park Plaza), great monthly trainings, great food every week, several step studies graduated, chain testimonies by both men and women that exemplified the importance of relationships and the kick-off of CR at the Capital Hill Church of Christ.  With the help and direction of the Lord, a focus group team worked together to kick-off CR at Capital Hill on Monday, October 17.  There have been some challenges along the way the past three months, but overall God has done some great things with this new CR group that is meeting.  Let’s all be in prayer that the Lord will bless the efforts of this new program.  Perhaps, you are looking for a way to give back?  This would be a great way for you to serve.    

This great year where God really used us to bring glory and honor to his name was capped off by having a special guest with us on December 16.  Tommy Woodard, one of the Skit Guys, was with us in Large Group.  He really shared from his heart about the importance of letting go of our past baggage and saying “yes” to God in service.  He inspired us with his great talent to illustrate lesson points through drama.  His individual skits were powerful and moving.  He really challenged me to give back to others what God has given me in a deeper way.

Finally, our CR forever family year of 2011 ended with the passing of one of our own, Bob Utley.  His battle with cancer ended on Sunday, December 18; however, he would want me to tell you that his life has really just begun.  For he is no longer in pain or struggling with his cancer or any of his hang-ups and habits.  That battle is over.  And now all he gets to do is sing angelic songs to the King of Kings at the top of his lungs for all eternity.  Let all of us in 2012 continue to live out Bob’s legacy: love one another; serve one another; let us do good to one another. Here’s to another year of accomplishing that resolute goal. 

Until the Whole World Hears – Grateful Believer,

Micah

What are you thankful for?

I had a bad day.  It was July 13, 2011.  The whole day wasn’t bad really, just long and by the time we got to our rooms I was in a bad mood.  I was tired, ate dinner later than normal, and was cranky.  We were on our CR trip to Honduras and had a morning of manual labor and then CR workshops.

When Micah and I got back to our room I unloaded all of my “problems”.  He listened and then asked me, “What are you thankful for?”

I don’t know if you are like me, but when I am venting the last thing I want to do is focus on what I am thankful for.  And if I do manage to think about some things I am thankful for I have a special ability to turn that into something to vent about too.  “Yeah, I have great friends, but….”

It’s all about our perspective isn’t it?  That night in Honduras while we were eating dinner two small boys came in begging for food.  This past weekend some friends and I went to San Antonio and had a great time, but I was disturbed by how many homeless people I saw sleeping in doorways and wandering around with vacant eyes.

It is so easy to see past some of my blessings, because I receive them everyday.  Every day I eat, have a home to go to and a bed to sleep in.  If these things were taken away I wouldn’t know what to do.  However, I focus my time and energy on things that don’t matter as much.

What do you focus your time and energy on?

What are you thankful for?

Grateful Believer,

Andrew

Notes from the Mission Field

Over the last month, I find myself reciting the Serenity Prayer a lot! Sometimes without even realizing I am doing it.

When I have visited Rwanda on short-term missions trips, I have spent my time exclusively with missionaries. Everything is positive and uplifting, kind of like church camp. Since moving here one month ago, my mountaintop experience has hit valleys from time to time and I rely on some of the tools that I have learned through Celebrate Recovery.

As a missionary, there is a lot of pressure to live inside the box. There aren’t any introductions starting with, “Hi, I’m Jamie, a grateful believer…” here. But I have found a couple of friends to share a few things with just to have someone who is aware of my struggles and for accountability.

I have spent time with other people about my age who are working here, not necessarily in the missionary capacity, who live a life not congruent with what I am trying to achieve for my sobriety and myself. It is sometimes tough discerning where a positive place is and where I should not go to protect my sobriety. There are limited places to hang out after about 6pm, but I don’t want to be stuck at home every single night, so I try new places with friends. I have found myself feeling trapped in an environment that is not healthy for me and around people who could care less if I was struggling or not.

There are moments that are so culturally frustrating that I find myself whispering, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (which are many today), the courage to change the things I can (hopefully it won’t be many because I’m really tired) and the wisdom to know the difference (wisdom, seriously?! I just spent 30 minutes waiting for someone to arrive and another 30 minutes explaining why they shouldn’t be late and another hour explaining why I am explaining what being disrespectful of time means)….”

I have had to make amends for criticizing and judging why people do things a certain way that I am not accustomed. And I have prayed a lot. I pray for a friend that I can rely on and who I can open up to; who will willingly get up and leave if a situation becomes to tough for me to handle.

I have found one missionary guy who was involved with CR at one time and mentioned an interest in starting a group here. We are not sure how it translates to a culture that does not open up about their feelings and rarely expresses more than a lift of the eyebrows. But God planted a seed that it is a possibility because there are two people here familiar with recovery. What a better place to find recovery than a country who is trying to heal from so many deep scars.

I thank God for asking me to come to such a beautiful place with so many beautiful people.

Philippians 4:4-7 New Living Translation (NLT)
4 Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! 5 Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. 6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Grateful Believer,
Jamie