God's Got This!

All of my life, I have had a paralyzing fear of public speaking. In fact, I have avoided things that I desperately wanted to do, when I discovered that public speaking would be involved. So, it is not surprising that up until about 6 months ago, I would have sworn that I would NEVER give my testimony. I specifically asked people on multiple occasions, to stop asking me to do so, because it was never going to happen. But something happened last August that began changing my heart.

I had the privilege of attending the annual Celebrate Recovery Summit in California. One of the very first speakers stood up, and started describing his journey into becoming an inspirational speaker. Now, let me just say, that I have ALWAYS believed that God speaks to me through others. So, this gentleman starts talking about how he went into the radio-industry, because he never had to talk in front of a visible audience. He too was deathly afraid of public speaking. And then he said something I will never forget. He said, "God uses people too" and began describing that God will place people and situations in your life, in order for you to receive a specific message. God put someone special in his life, that started his journey from overcoming his intense fear, to traveling around the country and using his story to inspire others. THAT day, God placed THAT man in my life, to tell me that it was time to share my story. And for the first time, I literally felt God breathing into me, the words that I needed to say.

That very day, I made the commitment to share my testimony, and I trusted God to deliver the message that He wanted, and not that I wanted. This isn't to say that I was suddenly relieved of fear, because I definitely wasn't. But God always placed the perfect people in my life to encourage me at just the right time, and to help relieve any insecurity or fear that I was feeling. One of my step-study sisters sent me a simple text almost everyday that said "God's Got This." This reminded me on a daily basis, to let go of my control and fear. I was also reminded on several occasions, that this was not MY story to tell, it was GOD'S. I was merely a vessel. Lastly, I was assured that any insecurity or fear that I was feeling, was not from God. Satan did not want me to share this story, and he was prepared to throw anything in my path, that would've kept me from doing so.

Two weeks ago, I finally did it!! I stood in front of a large group of people, and shared my story. My ugly, dirty, sad, redemptive, joyful, and beautiful story. And something incredible happened! People still loved me! I could not believe the out-pouring of love that I felt. Somehow, I pictured that I would feel ashamed after sharing the darkness of my past. To be honest, I have never felt as secure in who I am, as I felt that night. Since then, I have received countless phone-calls, text-messages, and emails, thanking me for sharing my story. I have been blessed by hearing how my testimony has touched other people's lives. God has truly taken my mess, and made it His message! And I hate that I kept that message to myself for so long!

If you've never given your testimony, PLEASE consider doing so! No matter what your hurt, habit, or hang-up, there will always be someone that God puts in your path who NEEDS to hear your story! And stop worrying...God's Got This!!

Grateful Believer,
Amy