Don't Feed the Cat

From the moment my family and I moved into our new home in Bethany, I knew that there would be some changes and challenges that we would have to deal with. One of the biggest challenges we've had to face is not being able to have a pet in the home. From the time I was a young girl, my family always had pets; dogs, cats, hamsters, even bunnies in the backyard.

Now having children of my own, I hope to continue on this legacy of pets. I like to believe that I have a deep love for animals while others may believe it could be a borderline obsession. Who cares? Potato, tomato, right?

Like all very determined animal lovers, I tried to figure out a way to "abide by the rules" but still fulfill my own desire for a furry companion. This soon became a very easy task. With the help of my children, we were able to identify all five of the stray cats in our neighborhood within a few days.

One cat in particular was very fond of the kids and me. She was probably the only one who didn't run away when we reached out our hands chiming, "Here kitty, kitty." We adopted "Torie," as the kids agreed to call it, as our "outside cat" since we weren't allowed to have pets inside the home. Not to mention both my mom and mother-in-law are deathly allergic to cats, so we could NOT have any cat hair inside in case they stopped by.

In my mind, as long as I could have a pet without "breaking the rules," I was satisfied. Daily I fed the cat and made sure it had plenty of food and water. It even invited its other kitty friends over and shared its meal.

Our backyard was slowly starting to become a cat hangout. My husband must have been thinking, "I did not just marry an undercover cat lady, did I?" Only his love and very stern "No!" prevented me from completely going overboard and bringing the cat inside our home to live.

Thank goodness for his voice of reason because I truly could've gotten us into some serious trouble. In one of my cat lady shopping frenzies, I bought the cat a flea collar and put it around its neck. The next morning, the cat stopped by as usual but my collar had been replaced by a shiny black collar with a bell on it.

That two-timing kitty had a home all along and was only playing on my heart strings. My overwhelming desire for a fuzzy friend allowed me to overlook the fact that this cat already had a home and he, who I found out is named "Bear," was only dealing with me because I laid out food for it to eat for the past few weeks.

By my feeding that selfish desire, I could've have hurt many people. What if my mothers had come over and I had the cat in the house? What would have happened if my landlord had stopped by? How much more time and money would I have wasted if I had continued to feed this feline?

It's so easy for me to allow my addictions and compulsions to completely blur my rational thinking. When I am focused on satisfying my selfish desires, I allow myself to compromise my morals. I try to "abide by the rules" without technically breaking them and as a result I can end up potentially hurting my friends and family.

That's why I am so grateful for Celebrate Recovery. Celebrate Recovery allows me to acknowledge my compulsions and addictions in a safe place. I can admit my wrongs; how I have hurt others; and how they have hurt me in a nonjudgmental environment.

Most important, I am able to see that with God, all things are possible. With His help and love, I am made whole and I can "stop feeding the cat" in my life. I am able to exchange my sins for forgiveness and adopt a forever family who has my back and will remind me to leave the cat outside.

Grateful believer,

Gabby